Confucius say. Proponents argue, however, that despite the secular nature of Confucianism's teachings, it is based on a worldview that is religious. ", "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to, "Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star. Confucius say: Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) 14. Confucius say: Man with one hand in pocket not necessarily jingling change. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. He started his own school at the age of 22. ", "Silence is a true friend who never betrays. His views bear insight and depth of wisdom, you can apply his teachings in every sphere of life. And now, of course, there are many so-called Confucius Say jokes that take the same form as his actual quotes. ThoughtCo uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. Theportrait of Confucius as philosopher is, in part, the product of aseries of modern cross-cultural interactions. Today, Confucius is revered not just as a moral teacher, but a divine soul who saved the world from moral degradation. Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone. As his teachings spread far and wide, his philosophies gained ground. Although transformed over time, it is still the substance of learning, the source of values, and the social code of the Chinese. 10. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. Man who live in glass house should get changed in basement. Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg will not find nuts. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. ". ", "Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. i . Confucius established a moral code of conduct based on human principles of mutual respect, good conduct, and familial ties. Girl who sit on lap of judge, get honorable discharge. Confucius Inspirational Sayings ; Not to discuss with a man worthy of conversation is to waste the man. Man who have clear conscience usually have bad memory, too. Mar 20, 2019 - Explore Moonchild's board "Funny Confucius Quotes" on Pinterest. Confucius taught of how one is to govern themselves, and how the state is to govern society. ", "Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles. “To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge.” – Confucius. Confucius say: Man who catch large water rodent, get wet beaver. Top 10 Confucius Quotes - BrainyQuote. His philosophy on how to be a Junzi or the perfect gentleman is based on the simple ideology of love and tolerance. 3. Confucius say takes many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it. Upholding the ideals of wisdom, self-knowledge, courage and love of one's fellow man, he argued that a Chinese philosopher credited with many wise sayings. Confucius Communication ; Writing cannot express all words, words cannot encompass all ideas. ", "To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle. Confucius' ideals stand true even today. James Legge, Confucius, Mencius, Shih ching (1867). Prostitute who like bondage, strapped for cash. 38. “Your life is what your thoughts make it.”. ", "Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts? Confucius… Confucius say… butcher who back … He devoted his time to gain new insights and learned from renowned scholars of his time. Score: 493 Share: Score: 201 Share: Confucius Say Confucius say: Man who run behind bus get exhausted. Confucius. Man who leap off cliff, jump to conclusion. ", "In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. 88 Confucius Quotes - Inspirational Quotes at BrainyQuote. Though Confucius served the Duke of Lu, a Chinese state, he made many enemies with the nobles of the land. Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out. This is how the whole scheme of things works. ", "The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell. Fame, as they say, is fickle. “Confucius says” jokes are a great way to make myself laugh when I feel down. Confucius’ social philosophy was based primarily on the principle of "ren" or "loving others" while exercising self-discipline. It may take years to reap it and, when you do, you may not have the time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Say them slowly, quizzically, and with intense glaring passion. Confucius say. Confucius Says is a place to submit famous quotes and popular sayings about hope, health, knowledge, luck, love, wisdom and more! ", "Men's natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart. Man who run in front of bus get tired. ", "A superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions. ", "By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart. Confucius say man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic. The ways of governing can be seen in the traditions of forefathers. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. ", "Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger. Confucianism discusses elements of the afterlife and views concerning Heaven, but it is relatively unconcerned with some spiritual matters often considered essential to religious thought, such as the na… #39 – 30. Its influence has also extended to other countries, particularly Korea, Japan, and Vietnam. “The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.” – Confucius. Confucius Says is a place to submit famous quotes and popular sayings about wisdom, health, knowledge, luck, love and more! Man who drives like hell bound to get there. Man who cut self while shaving lose face. Confucius was a Chinese philosopher credited with many wise sayings. Confucius say: Boy who goes to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand. And as we love funny stuff like that, we’ve gathered together all the finest examples here. 4. Are both correct.”. ", "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. Aristocrat-scholars, called shi, traveled from one feudal state to another, offering advice on everything from politics to weddings to war. ", "When anger rises, think of the consequences. The opinion of Confucius, also known as Confucianism, emphasized individual and governmental morality, the correctness of social relationships, equity, and sincerity. ", "He who learns but does not think is lost! Wise man not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room. Confucianism along with Taoism and Buddhism became the three religious pillars of China. His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.” Although Confucianism is often followed in a religious manner by the Chinese, many argue that its values are secular and that it is, therefore, less a religion than a secular morality. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved. “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.”. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Famous Quotes and Sayings about Wisdom. During his lifetime, his views were received with scorn. Confucius was born around 551 BC in Zhou times. ", "Study the past if you would define the future. Confucius say: Man who make furniture with woman, eventualy get in drawers. Confucius say… Man who not poop for many days must take care of back log. ", "The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence. Man with hole in both pockets not feel too cocky. 9. 13. Confucius Say It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence. Fly which rest on toilet seat get pissed off. Man who cut self while shaving lose face. ", "He who will not economize will have to agonize. Life of Confucius. Confucius's philosophies, which are similar to humanist thought, have significantly influenced spiritual and social thought. All good things are difficult to achieve, and bad things are very easy to get. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. “Man with one chopstick go … Many nails needed to make crib, only one screw needed to fill it. ', and 'It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.' I do and I understand. Confucian proverbs have the power to transform lives, but they are not for casual reading. Introduction . ", "He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of. Man who run in front of car get tired. ", "I hear and I forget. Man who want pretty nurse must be patient. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved. ", "Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue. The wise waste neither men nor words. Man who walk in front of car gets tired, man who walk behind car get exhausted.eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'laffgaff_com-box-4','ezslot_6',173,'0','0'])); Man who not poop for many days must deal with backlog. Confucius is a wise Chinese philosopher, teacher, and political leader during 500-400 BC. Simran Khurana is the Editor-in-Chief for ReachIvy, and a teacher and freelance writer and editor, who uses quotations in her pedagogy. ", "When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. Man who walk through airport turnstyle sideways going to Bangkok. - More quotations on: [ The Future] The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. All rights reserved. ", "If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. 70 Hilariously Funny Confucius Quotes to Cheer You Up Funny Confucius Quotes About Everyday Problems #1. When dentist say ‘ open wide’ does he mean mouth or wallet? Let these Confucian quotes guide you in life. Man who walk in front of car gets tired, man who walk behind car get exhausted. Confucius' philosophies remained in the archives of ancient Chinese history. Woman who sinks in man’s arms soon has arms in man’s sink. The Analects of Confucius . ", "He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed. Man who fishes in other man’s well, often catch crab. ", "It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. History Time Fall Never. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',175,'0','0'])); War not determine who right, war determine who left. Man who kisses girl’s behind, get crack in face. When you read them once, you feel the power of his words; read twice, and you will appreciate his deep thought; read them over and over again, and you will be enlightened. During these years he never lost confidence in his cailling as political mentor of the Empire.. At age 57, when he returned to his native state finally, he lamented in a poem that, “men are without insight, quickly the years pass.” Confucius. See more ideas about confucius quotes, confucius say, funny. Confucius. From age 56 to 68, the Chinese philosopher Confucius wandered from state to state hoping that somewhere he could put his political doctrine into practice. “The man who says he can, and the man who says he can not…. You will impress with your vast wisdom and surely be promoted to the head of some department which is a pretty good start for any overlord during these tough economical times. Man who go to sleep with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution in hand. Kong Qiu, or Master Kong as he was known, did not live to see his days of glory. Confucius say: Man in shower playing with tool not necessarily plumber. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. In Imperial China,Confucius was identified with interpretations of the classics andmoral guidelines for administrators, and therefore also with trainingthe scholar-officials that populated the bur… Because of the wide range of texts and traditions identified with him,choices about which version of Confucius is authoritative have changedover time, reflecting particular political and social priorities. Confucius was a politician and Chinese philosopher and of the Spring and Autumn period. Confucius say… speech is like a bicycle wheel… the longer the spoke, the greater the tire. Confucius's sayings brought together by his pupils shortly after his death in 497 BC. ", "Respect yourself and others will respect you. ", "Faced with what is right, to leave it undone shows a lack of, "To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness. Confucius gave great importance to education. Confucius. Man with five penises have pants that fit like glove. By using ThoughtCo, you accept our, 29 Motivational Quotes to Get Yourself Charged, 8 Motivational Strategies and the Proverbs that Support Them, Filial Piety: An Important Chinese Cultural Value, 48 Inspiring, Wise, and Witty Quotes to Use in Your Email Signatures, Sad Quotations of Love, Separation, Despair, and Hope, Fun Facts About Ancient China With Pictures, M.B.A, Human Resource Development and Management, Narsee Monjee Institution of Management Studies, B.S., University of Mumbai, Commerce, Accounting, and Finance, "They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. If you liked these funny Confucius Say jokes and sayings, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, including these: © 2020 LaffGaff.com. ', 'Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. Confucius say…. Confucius’ teachings encourage everybody to pursue self-cultivation as a means to moral perfection. It is easy to hate and it is difficult to … Confucius say man who keep feet firmly planted on ground, have trouble putting on pants. Man who leap off cliff, jump to conclusion. 40. Confucius. ", "Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire. Each warlord ruled a feudal state. It took many years after Confucius' death for his philosophies to be appreciated and revered, but today, Confucianism is an ethical school of thought adopted by many thinkers around the world. Confucius. He believed that subjecting oneself to li did not mean suppressing one's desires, but learning to reconcile them with the needs of one's family and broader community. 1. The best Confucius quotes on knowledge and education. This was the case for Confucius, an ancient Chinese philosopher whose ideas still resonate today. To discuss with a man not worthy of conversation is to waste words. – Confucius. 2. Confucius Say Jokes. ", "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. So enjoy this collection of funny Confucius Say jokes and sayings. Famous Quotes and Sayings about Hope. ", "Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation, there is sure to be failure. Together they express a philosophy, or a moral code, by which Confucius, one of the most humane thinkers of all time, believed everyone should live. Confucius’ sayings are typically made up of short sentences which are difficult to interpret, but, with the right understanding, these teachings will start your journey to inner peace. In a few words, Confucius teaches us about patience, perseverance, discipline, and hard work. More and more followers of Confucianism are advocating a deeper study of his philosophies. 429 quotes from Confucius: 'By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. Confucianism, the way of life propagated by Confucius in the 6th–5th century bce and followed by the Chinese people for more than two millennia. It good to meet girl in park, but better to park meat in girl. Confucius say: Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy! Man who sneeze without tissue takes matter in own hand. 41. ", "He who exercises government by means of his virtue may be compared to the north polar star, which keeps its place and all the stars turn towards it. But if you probe further, you will see more layers. ", "Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. I see and I remember. These are five of the most prolific Confucius’ teachings which are guaranteed to aid you on your journey to reach inner peace. So, I’ve selected some of the best funny Confucius jokes to make you crack up. Man who not poop for many days must deal with backlog. The Analects of Confucius is an anthology of brief passages that present the words of Confucius and his disciples, describe Confucius as a man, and recount some of the events of his life. ", "The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large. Here is one of Confucius's sayings: "It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." Although there was one ruling family, the real power was in the hands of local warlords. At that time, China was undergoing a state of ideological turmoil; all around there was injustice, war, and evil. Untouched and Pristine Confucius Sayings ", "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. His thoughts and teachings have influenced many people in the past, still inspire many people in present times, and will continue to contribute to many people’s thinking in the future. 39. Here is one of Confucius's sayings: "It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night. Man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face. Confucius's philosophies, which are similar to humanist thought, have significantly influenced spiritual and social thought. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. 12. In a few words, Confucius teaches us about patience, perseverance, discipline, and hard work. ", "What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself. ", "Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men.
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